To the editor:

Our president, Bob Costas and other sages of our age have determined that football is a dangerous sport. Obviously, if there is a crisis, only our federal government can provide a remedy.

Given the outstanding efficiency our government has achieved with its postal, railway, education and health care (to name a few) systems, shouldn’t we expect government-run football to be safer?

Certainly, setting up congressional hearings, blue-star panels of experts and committees will speed us to a day of safe football. Perhaps the game can be made a touch-only sport in which both teams always win and a Nerf football is used. Game disputes would be settled by on-field union representatives for the players, referees, owners and fans.

Oh, what a glorious age we live in with all the wonderful help our government provides! As the feds make football safer, maybe they could probe the horrible dangers of soccer, badminton, sports car racing, church bingo and horseshoe tossing.

Charles T. Joyner

Poquoson