Archived Story

No substitute for the sand pile

Published 10:26pm Tuesday, July 16, 2013

After a large (well, actually pretty small) scientific study just conducted by a team (OK — just one) of highly respected experts (he is probably an expert in SOME field), it has been concluded through rigorous statistical data that one key factor in the establishment of social, physical and emotional maturation can be found in the early and continuing exposure to the cultural and engineering phenomenon commonly referred to as the “sand pile.”

Studies show that, at a young age, humans show a far greater level of creative and imaginative capacity if they have had the advantage of regular interaction with large piles of semi-white granulated particles.

Scientists have recorded a strange attraction between the inorganic heaps of sand and developing minds. Without being instructed to do so, small humans have been observed to insert their feet and hands amongst the particles with obvious satisfaction.

For some, simply climbing to the crest of a sand hill provided remarkable enthusiasm and refreshment. Others began constructing structures using no certified blueprint. Small mountains came into existence. Roads were meticulously laid out in a startling and organized fashion. Tunnels were constructed deep below ground level. Walls were laid out alongside paths and smoothed on topside (perhaps for future fortification?). Some large flats were created alongside roadbeds, resembling fields to be planted or crops to be harvested.

Of special note was the observation that in 96.28 percent of the instances, no adults were involved. There appeared to be some immeasurable interaction between the granules and the young minds. This particular principle will require further studies.

Of special interest were the long-term implications of such activity when started at the juvenile stage of human development. To measure this, subjects were followed into adulthood. At an alarming rate, they entered and excelled in those activities requiring the ongoing exercise of the imagination, including, but not limited to, teaching, motherhood, engineering, research, construction, architecture and, yes, even politics.

Further studies will need to be done, but as of this date, no substitute has been found for that mysterious but intriguing marvel known as the “sand pile.”


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