Am I the only one who …Published 10:37pm Tuesday, March 11, 2014
- Sweeps dirt under the rug?
- Uses his hairbrush as a back scratcher?
- When still in bed early morning and gets a phone call asking, “Did I get you up?” replies by saying, “Of course not.”
- Sometimes cries in the shower?
- Has a stash of cash somewhere no one else knows about?
- Has a stash of chocolate somewhere no one else knows about?
- Burps out loud and confidently when he is alone?
- Seems to never have enough money?
- Pouts, but would never call it that?
- Likes to pop bubble-wrap?
- Acts different just because he is in church?
- Steps onto the dance floor not sure what he will do?
- Feels his pants getting tighter around the waist?
- Has run up the down escalator?
- Imagines a shark nearby while swimming in the ocean?
- Is still afraid of getting a shot?
- Still wants to climb a tree?
- Sometimes feels insecure, unworthy, inadequate and unconfident but will go to his grave before letting someone know?
- Has an extremely difficult time uttering the words, “I was wrong”?
- Bites a Tootsie Pop within 10 seconds, just to get to the middle?
- Slows down when he sees a policeman, no matter how fast he is driving?
- Prays and sometimes wonders if anyone is listening?
- Has opened his eyes while kissing?
- Hopes his wife doesn’t read this column?
Rex Alphin of Walters is a farmer, businessman, author, county supervisor and contributing columnist for the Suffolk News-Herald. His email address is firstname.lastname@example.org.