Like it is going to turn the Red$kin$ around? C’mon, if the millions they are paid can’t motivate them what will, a new old coach? Do they think the football magic of Gibbs returns when he agrees to wipe off the axle grease and put a headset back on? Is he their &uot;second coming&uot; who will suddenly wash away all their lackadaisical sins? Hardly, but owner Snyder who can smoke thousand-dollar cigars thinks so and one wonders where he gets his information. Gibbs is bored with racecars like I have always been and seeks diversion. He probably leaked that hoping some believer in reincarnation would pass it on. But why not, these rich players are not college material as Spurrier learned. Many just need a gruff kick in the rear, Gibbs can do that and send a few out to pasture.

Advertising is king in this world, without it business would come to a standstill. My kids have aged just as have the famous three that do Haynes TV commercials. I imagine they will be with us in their 80s…that is what I call loyalty. But as many ads as there are I still don’t know where to get a fire extinguisher filled locally, or screens re-screened. But the News-Herald has led me to many small businesses over the years where I can buy things locally or get things fixed. Only one purveyor of service I encountered should have his license revoked and he did disappear from the paper’s ads. You can tell that TV is no longer the best place to advertise. There are many commercials I detest so much I don’t watch the station for fear of seeing them again. One gets to know what’s coming and keeps the mute button within reach. The big three TV news channels are so devoid of advertisers they use micro-weather reports to fill two thirds of the half hour programs. Churchill would have said, &uot;I have never seen so little covered by so many for so long.&uot; OK, so it might snow – do I need to know if it will be a dusting or an eighth of an inch? Is it critical I know the temperature difference between Bowers Hill and south Suffolk? These guys go on ad infinitum and should be forced to listen to themselves. One station brags about predicting weather for 10 days and is about as accurate as the Farmers Almanac shooting for a year. But I digress.

The Suffolk News-Herald does well with its advertising and the paper is so full the ads they are creeping up the front page. Perhaps that’s due to lack of news to cover in this town. It’s not hard to yawn when thinking about all the exciting things going on in Suffolk, but I did receive in the mail the city’s Special 2004 Report concerning Suffolk City Council Priorities and Action Plans. It contains a very impressive array of Top Strategic ideas and major projects planned for us. One of my neighbors said,

&uot;Considering the amount of local taxes I pay you’d think it would be addressed to me instead of &uot;Occupant.&uot; As complete as the brochure is there is no mention of Council counter-measures and methods for dealing with the terrorists that want to merge Suffolk with Portsmouth and Norfolk. We already have filled our quota of traffic congestion, dangerous neighborhoods, vandals, drug dealers and petty criminals. Let them merge with Eastern Shore and be citified clear up to Baltimore. We know what they desperately need and want and we ain’t budging.

My column about our airport was on the mark. I knew Roger Leonard was going to open a big can of worms, he told me so, but I wanted it to be his surprise. I just hope his action will spur action by Council and IDA and untie the hands of the airport commission who seem to be ignored at every turn. The Mayor’s Council Brochure has this listed under action plans: &uot;Prepare master plan for Suffolk Executive Airport and Carolina Road Corridor.&uot; Sounds good but city officials have been planning sewers in some areas for 17 years. They do say dirt will be moving soon but Roger Leonard isn’t holding his breath. And unless I missed it in the fine print there is not one word, under &uot;Tourism&uot; or any-where else, about the Mattanock Indian Village. King Herbert must be pleased.

I am so pleased that the City Treasurer annually sends me a notice that my precious decals are due to be replaced at $20 each. Pleased because the letter of notice addresses me as &uot;Dear Taxpayer and Friend.&uot; Gee, and I hardly know him. Notice too the convenience fee for charging to your credit card… 10 percent for $50. Swell.

Robert Pocklington is a resident of Suffolk and a regular News-Herald columnist. He can be contacted via e-mail: robert.pocklington@suffolknewsherald.com.