Another view

Published 12:00 am Sunday, December 12, 2004

June 6, 1944. -NORMANDY- Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more wounded today in the first hours of America’s invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children. Most of the French casualties were the result of artillery fire from American ships attempting to knock out German fortifications prior to the landing of hundreds of thousands of U.S. troops.

Reports from a makeshift hospital in the French town of St. Mere Eglise said the carnage was far worse than the French had anticipated and reaction against the American invasion was running high. &uot;We are dying for no reason,&uot; said a Frenchman speaking on condition of anonymity.

&uot;Americans can’t even shoot straight.

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I never thought I’d say this, but life was better under Adolph Hitler.&uot;

The invasion also caused severe environmental damage.

American troops, tanks, trucks and machinery destroyed miles of pristine shoreline and thousands of acres of ecologically sensitive wetlands.

It was believed that the habitat of the spineless French crab was completely wiped out, threatening the species with extinction. A representative of Green Peace said his organization, which had tried to stall the invasion for over a year, was appalled at the destruction, but not surprised.&uot; This is just another example of how the military destroys the environment without a second thought,&uot; said Christine Moanmore. &uot;And it’s all about corporate greed.&uot;

Contacted at his Manhattan condo, a member of the French government-in-exile who abandoned Paris when Hitler invaded said the invasion was based solely on American financial interests. &uot;Everyone knows that President Roosevelt caters to big beer,&uot; said Pierre LeWimp. &uot;Once the German beer industry is conquered, Roosevelt’s beer cronies will control the world market and make a fortune.&uot;

Administration supporters said America’s aggressive actions were based in part on the assertions of controversial scientist Albert Einstein, who sent a letter to Roosevelt speculating that the Germans were developing a secret weapon, a so-called &uot;atomic bomb.&uot; Such a weapon could produce casualties on a scale never seen before and cause environmental damage that could last for thousands of years.

Hitler has denied having such a weapon and international inspectors were unable to locate such weapons even after spending two long weekends in Germany. Shortly after the invasion began reports surfaced that Americans had abused German prisoners.

Mistreatment of Jews by Germans at so-called concentration camps has been rumored but so far, remains unproven.

Several thousand Americans died during the first hours of the invasion and French officials are concerned that uncollected corpses pose a public health risk. &uot;The Americans should have planned for this in advance,&uot; they said. &uot;It’s their mess and we don’t intend to clean it up.&uot;

This came in over the internet as a perfect example of how today’s left leaning press would have covered the invasion through thousands of newspapers across the nation. No doubt our three current TV talking heads, two down one to go, would also be having a field day.

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Remember this at Christmas and give credit where credit is due. According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should have known…only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

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Don’t forget…living on Earth is expensive but it includes a free trip around the sun every year. And how long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the better. Ever notice that people who are late are happier than you who waited for them? And if Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once, ain’t that right? We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors…but they all exist nicely in the same box.

Robert Pocklington lives in Suffolk and is a regular News-Herald columnist. He can be reached at