At a dock in a small Eastern Shore town a tourist complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. He said it took two hours. So the tourist asked why he didn’t stay longer and catch more. The fisherman explained that selling his catch paid all his expenses including boat repairs. So the tourist asked what he did the rest of his time. &uot;Well,&uot; he said, &uot;I sleep late, play with my kids, in the afternoon I take a nap with my wife, later I meet with my buddies, drink a little, play my guitar, sing a few songs, I have a full life.&uot;

&uot;Take my advice,&uot; said the tourist, &uot;fish longer each day, sell the extra fish and buy a bigger boat. Then get a crew, catch more fish, buy another boat, and a third. Then skip the middleman and start selling directly to the processing plant, maybe even open your own. Then leave this little town and move to a big city and from there direct your business in style.&uot;

The fisherman asked how long that would take. &uot;Maybe 20, 25 years.&uot; said the tourist. Then you can sell the business and start playing the stock market, buying and selling stocks and make millions.&uot;

The fisherman said, &uot;Really, millions, and after that?&uot;

&uot;After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a small town on the bay, play with your grandchildren, take nap with your wife, meet with your friends, drink a little, play your guitar, sing a few songs, and have a full life.&uot;

Only two kinds of wine

I feel I must come to the defense of grocery stores that have been maligned by those who say one can’t buy fine wines there. That’s hogwash, or I should say grapewash.

I have never in my life found it necessary to shop in a wine store, but I go to one now and then just to hear people impress each other with their sophistication and knowledge.

There are, judging by the numbers of bottles, at least a zillion wineries scattered around the world and on nearby planets.

I can’t imagine how they all make a living; surely communion services don’t use up that much of the supply.

The human life span is too short for any one person to try them all, and unless the snobs have tasted them all, they can’t be considered an authority.

I admit, in my lifetime I have met many characters that looked like they had tried them all.

Buying in a wine shop for me would require throwing a dart. Otherwise I’d be in there deciding for hours when I could be home sipping one I grabbed off a shelf in Farm Fresh, three bottles for $10.

In a &uot;Wine Shoppe&uot; I heard one customer, he was wearing a tux during daylight hours, tell another not to buy a certain wine because it was too dry … how can any liquid be dry … dry means the bottle is empty.

Basically there are two kinds of wine: red or white, sweet or not. Anything else is in between and acceptable, color doesn’t matter and colored bottles can disguise it.

I’ve heard there is a difference between wine with a screw top and wine with a cork. There appears to be a substantial difference in the price, but I don’t know anything about the taste.

I noticed the customers never looked at the boxed wine. It had gathered so much dust I figured it was a bargain like day-old pastry. How can you turn down five liters for nine bucks, even if it was only aged in the store?

The Internet lists several I have not yet tried: Chateau Trailer Parc, White Trashfindel, Chef Boyardeaux, NASCARbernet, Nasti Spumante, Grape Expectations, or I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar, which I understand goes well with both possum and squirrel.

robert.pocklington@suffolknewsherald.com