While people say there is no handbook to parenting, there is a book and an opportunity to learn about it at a seminar, taking place on Oct. 21 at Nansemond River High School.

The seminar will revolve around the book “Active Parenting,” written by Dr. Michael Popkin. The evening will focus on the dynamics between parents and children as it pertains to helping them succeed in their education. With a doctorate in counseling psychology, Popkin developed the original program on parenting back in the 1980s, he said. It includes a video and a book.

“Parenting is one of the few jobs in our society that we don’t provide real training for,” Popkin said. “You don’t have to major in parenting,” he said playfully, but he does feel it’s important for parents to attend a class or read up on the subject. He likens it to a job — a person has to learn how to do their job, he said. After spending years as a therapist, he found that the more effective and efficient way to address the situation is through the parents, not the children, he said.

His philosophy involves the use of parenting skills to instill positive qualities in children, such as discipline, respect, cooperation, courage, self-esteem and more. One important factor in doing this is by building a community of good role models around children, he said. Other tips revolving around education involve meeting children’s teachers and encouraging not only one’s children, but also their teachers. It’s also important to help with homework, he said.

With providing children the chance to make certain choices comes the acceptance of responsibility. “Responsibility equals choice plus consequences,” he said. It’s also important to focus on “developing whole selves” rather than pushing for perfection, he said. You know you’ve done a good job when your children still want to visit you as adults, he said.

About 3 million people have been through Dr. Popkin’s program, he said. Through it, parents can find more joy in their relationships with their children and find themselves less frustrated, he said.

The free presentation will take place at 6 p.m. with a 5:30 p.m. dinner at the high school, located at 3301 Nansemond Parkway. Pre-registration is required for dinner and for free childcare during the presentation. To register, visit www.spsk12.net or call 925-6752.

To learn more about his book, check out www.activeparenting.com.