Q&A with Dr. Carletta Perry — Family drama

Published 10:08 pm Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Q. I come from a big, loud family full of drama. I miss them, but they stress me out. I should say away, right?

A. It sounds like you already know the answer and that you miss them as much as they probably miss you.

It has been said that the American family consists of two parents, two and a half children, and a pet. Oh, I forgot the white picket fence.


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Now, we all know that is not your average family. Some people are raised in a two-parent home, some in a single parent home, some with grandparents, some with foster parents and some are raised in various places by various relatives or non-relatives. The point is, the family structure is not simple, and family interactions are complex.

You may not feel like they are normal, but who’s really normal anyway? Your family is your family. You love them. They get on your nerves. They disagree a lot. They are loud. They are overly involved in each other’s business. There’s too many people at the family dinners.

However, when the bickering stops, dishes are put away, the children are tired and asleep, hugs are exchanged, everyone is leaving and you are left with nothing but quiet, do you miss them?

Whatever it is that is making you feel different, alone or like you don’t fit in, shake it off or work through it. They are your family. Everyone is typically going through something, and being around family can be a welcome source of rest and peace. Families can give each of us a chance to just to be ourselves, so everyone gets a little loud and excited like children do when they are with the parent they feel most comfortable with.

Do not isolate. Rather, join in the conversations and perhaps you can teach your family healthier ways to communicate or live. But be open to the possibility that you can also learn from your family. Many times we are more alike than we think.

You may not like each other every day but you’ll love each other for always. Time is precious. Don’t live in the quiet.

Dr. Carletta N. Perry offers therapeutic life, relationship and career coaching. Catch her television show, “It’s Life Changing with Dr. Carletta Perry,” Sundays at 11:30 p.m. on WSKY/SKY-4 and on YouTube. Email her at contact@drcarlettaperry.com.