We stopped at the mini-golf course, and the four kids in my car leaped out of the vehicle. They were excited to play a round of mini-golf, even though they didn’t know much about the game. We played a few times before, but it had been about a year since they held a putter and picked a neon-colored ball.

We walked towards the first hole while I reminded them of some of the basic rules of the game. I knew they wouldn’t remember the advice I had given them the last time we played mini-golf, so I tried to show them how to hold the club, told them to think about how hard to hit the ball and explained how the position of their feet can affect the direction of the ball.

We were on the second hole when I realized that I needed to give more instructions.

They grasped the concept of taking turns on their first putt, but they failed to realize the order in which they should hit after everyone had their first stroke at the hole.

It wasn’t long before four neon-colored golf balls were being hit at the same time, bouncing into each other’s feet, knocking other golf balls out of the way, and being stopped by other player’s putters. It looked more like a pinball machine during a bonus play than a game of mini-golf.

I stopped the game and explained how mini-golf is played, told who should go after whom, and noted that the only person who should be standing on the green is the person who is putting.

It was only a moment before they were all standing back on the green, hitting the balls at the same time and yelling at each other for being in the way. I took a step back to look at the scene from a broader perspective. I thought to myself, “Mini-golf shouldn’t be this difficult.”

Working with children who do not receive much training at home can be difficult, but I have found a few things that have helped me over the years.

The first step is to look at the atmosphere in which the children live every day. This can help you better understand why they act the way they do.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have a set of rules and guidelines that you expect them to uphold while they are with you, but it does help you better understand their behavior.

The next step is to work patiently with them. The things you try to teach them may take a long time to make it into their minds and hearts. Children from difficult home environments are inundated with things that directly contradict what you are trying to teach. Your words, while meaningful, are jumbled with other messages that go against what you are trying to teach, and it makes it difficult for children to learn. It will take a lot of patience. Sometimes months of your teachings will be destroyed by a situation at home or by a parent who does not reinforce what you have been teaching. You will have to repeat yourself a lot. You must be patient — extremely patient.

The last thing is to make sure everything is wrapped in love. Your teaching must be centered in love. The children will notice. They can, and will, determine if you truly care about them or if you are just another adult that happens to be in charge of them during certain periods.

Working with children from difficult homes can be challenging, but understanding their home environments while being patient and loving can help you maintain a mindset that keeps you going.

Nathan Rice is a Hampton Roads native and can be reached at nrice@abnb.org.