Grandchildren are brutal

Published 9:12 pm Friday, December 11, 2009

There are only a few benefits that come with aging — discounts at fast-food restaurants, a $30 fishing permit for 10 bucks and grandchildren.

One of the things I love about my grandchildren is that they, without malice, tell it like it is, or at least the way they see it without being tainted by political correctness or social convention.

I know that they have to grow up. You can’t have a 12-year-old insulting everyone. But it is refreshing to see total honesty in young children.

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I have eight grandchildren, seven grandsons and, finally, a beautiful baby granddaughter, who is now 4 years old. Last week, she visited, running down the aisle of the furniture store, shouting, “Granddad! Granddad! Granddad!”

Picking her up with hugs and kisses, I said to her, “Peyton, you are fast for your age. Do you know where you got that speed?” “No,” she replied. “You got it from me; you inherited that speed from me,” I said. Peyton hesitated and then replied, “Granddad, old men can’t run fast!”

Last Christmas, my youngest grandson, Colin, who was visiting from Florida, was sitting in my lap, rubbing my stomach. “Granddad, why are you so fat?” he asked. “Colin, I guess I eat too much,” I replied. “I like the taste of food.”

The next night, he was sitting in my lap again and asked, “Granddad, what’s that on your eyes?” After arguing the point for a few minutes, he led me to the bathroom mirror, where I learned he had discovered the bags under my eyes.

Another time, my first grandson, Caleb, and I were riding down the road, when I asked him a very important question: “Caleb, do you want to look like Granddad when you grow up?”

“Sure, Granddad, but I don’t want to be bald, wear glasses or have a big nose or a pot belly,” he said. “Caleb, that doesn’t leave much,” I replied. “Granddad, I would like to be tall, like you,” he said.

My second grandson, Cody, was visiting one night, and I asked him what he called his other grandfather. “Pops,” he replied.

“Let me get this straight,” I said. “He is Pops, and I am Granddad? Cody, what does ‘grand’ mean?” Immediately and without thought, he responded: “Old.”

One of the greatest joys for Nana and me is having all of our children and grandchildren together at one time. This Christmas will be one of those times. We will read the Christmas story in the Bible, and then we will pray and have a big meal.

And I’ll be insulted by the grandkids.

“Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.” Psalm 124:4-5

David Carter is the owner of Brandon House Furniture store on W. Washington Street. He can be reached at