The wonders of Snuggie

Published 9:59 pm Monday, December 21, 2009

As the proud owner of a delicious, warm, wonderful, red Snuggie, I have this message for everyone: don’t knock it until you’ve slept under it.

Mind you, I did not purposely seek out ownership of a Snuggie. Last Christmas, my dad bought one for my mom during a “two-for-one” promotion. Being an only child has its advantages — in this case, the advantage was that I became the default giftee of the free Snuggie.

Yes, the commercial for these things is one of the corniest on modern television. The advertisement features plenty of smiling, happy families spending bonding time together in Snuggies, performing the horrifying “raise the roof” dance, assumedly to show off the fact that the Snuggie has sleeves.

For those who have no idea what a Snuggie is — it is, essentially, as its detractors have claimed, a blanket with sleeves. Imagine those fleece throws they sell in Wal-Mart, and then put sleeves on it. That’s the Snuggie.

The appeal touted in the commercial is that you can talk on the phone, read a book, play a board game, and do other activities with your hands without getting your arms and shoulders cold by removing them from the blanket, as would be the case with a regular blanket.

As a former English major, I must admit I am upset this product did not come out until after I was finished with my schooling. Many winter days and nights, my arms and shoulders were freezing as I plowed through novels, plays, poems and literary theory. The Snuggie would have been the perfect solution.

Detractors say the Snuggie is just a blanket with sleeves — and it is. However, as my old high school principal would say, whoever invented this blanket with sleeves is laughing all the way to the bank as we speak.

This blanket with sleeves has been keeping me very warm over the past few weeks of cold temperatures. It also has allowed me to turn the heat down to save on the energy bill. Yes, the Snuggie may be corny, but it’s definitely warm — and that’s all I care about.

Now, the Snuggie for dogs — that’s corny.