Floating in the chili pool

Published 10:11 pm Thursday, April 7, 2011

I missed it! I missed it! I missed it!

No need to say it, Suffolkians. I missed it. I missed one of the premier pig-out events in Suffolk. That’s right, I was unable to make it to this year’s Chili Fest for reasons that, at the time, seemed strangely unavoidable. And I feel awful about it.

But when I miss events that I really want to attend, I tend to visualize what it must’ve been like in order to soften the blow of missing out. And my mind’s eye is subject to delusions of grandeur when it comes to food.

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This particular grand visualization was fed, mind you, by a severe hunger for the spicy, saucy concoction to which this fest is devoted. So, I may be completely off about what actually went on there.

Here’s what I imagined happened at the Chili Fest this year.

First, I’m sure there was a giant tub of chili for everyone to enjoy. And I’m not just talking about a huge pot, but a massive swimming pool filled to the brim with nothing but meaty, savory, juicy chili. And I’m assuming there were giant crackers to be used for floatation devices out on the giant seas of chili.

The weather was perfect for strolling around the chili pool, and gracious servers would have passed regularly to offer samples of each competitor’s chili. And I’m sure there was no way to distinguish a winner, since I’m sure every one made just about the best chili known to man.

After everyone finished their giant cracker raft, soaked in a heaping helping of pool chili, live entertainment swept the evening off into history.

And I missed it.

No matter what happened at this year’s event, I hope everyone in attendance enjoyed a celebration of one the finest stews ever to grace this Earth.

I also hope everyone in attendance was aware of the fact that the event is a fundraiser for the SERTOMA club, which does a number of things for hearing health. And the only thing I enjoy more about fests devoted to food are fests devoted to food and a good cause.

Sadly, though, all I can do is congratulate this year’s winners and wait patiently until next year, with my active imagination intact, and build more incredible fantasies about what might have been at this year’s Chili Fest.