Culturally confused about sex

Published 9:36 pm Friday, November 14, 2014

By Chris Surber

Our culture is as sexually saturated as a dry sponge tied to a brick and thrown into the Elizabeth River. Culturally, we are an immature teenaged boy who reads sexual innuendo into every statement made.

What’s worse is that we are as confused about coitus as we are saturated with it. Today we have more sex and less intimacy than ever.

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According to “Proven Men Ministries,” a ministry committed to helping men who struggle with pornography and sex-addiction, approximately two-thirds (64 percent) of U.S. men view pornography at least monthly. According to the organization’s research, 18 percent of all men either think that they are addicted or are unsure if they are addicted to pornography. That’s 21 million men.

And, according to some studies, it’s not just men. I’ve read a number of studies that suggest the fastest-growing demographic for porn consumption is women.

We are wildly distracted by sexual thoughts and images. And it’s not just outright pornography. It would appear that more people are concerned with the booty contest between Kim Kardashian and Nicki Minaj than they were with this month’s midterm elections.

Well-known blogger Matt Walsh recently quipped, “I’d just like to point out that the Europeans landed on a comet yesterday and yet still the only thing I’m seeing on Facebook is Kim Kardashian’s butt.”

What does the saturation of sexual thoughts and images say about our culture? I think it says several things. We are a culture of instant gratification junkies who’d rather be pleased with constant immediacy rather than wooed by anything romantic.

We are a culture that sees humans — especially women — as objects, rather than instruments of grace and beauty.

We are a culture that has lost culture. We are robotic automatons going through the motions of base entertainment with no connection to or comprehension of true beauty.

Kim Kardashian’s bare, photoshopped backside would have been considered back-alley smut only a generation ago. Now it’s the stuff of magazine covers.

We’ve taken the mystery out of all things sensual and in the process have removed the allure of deep sensuality from our cultural vocabulary.

Where do we go from here? Where can we go from here? There isn’t anything left to take off except for our dignity. And I think we may have taken that off already, as well.

The only way back is a return to the basic notion that sex is a beautiful gift from God intended to draw a man and woman closer together and create family. I Corinthians 7:3-5 tells us that only a husband has rights to his wife’s body and that a wife has rights to her husband’s body. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” (ESV)

I like the way Malcolm Muggeridge put it: “Sex is the substitute religion of the 20th century.” Apparently, that remains true in the 21st century, too.

Chris Surber is pastor of Cypress Chapel Christian Church in Suffolk. Visit his website at