Q&A with Dr. Carletta Perry — Moving too fast?
Q. He was perfect for me, but it was moving too fast. Was I wrong to break it off?
A. First of all, let me say that relationships are complex, but I have an easy answer for you.
You might not like my answer, but I do believe you were wrong to break it off. That’s my short answer. Now, let me share the long version.
Many women say they are looking for the right partner, someone with the right characteristics, someone who only wants to be with them, someone who is going to be faithful, someone who is ready — and the list goes on.
However, some people aren’t able to recognize “perfection” when it comes along. For the most part, perfection in relationships does not exist, but I do believe there is someone perfect for you. Perhaps, you met him.
Now, let’s move on to the next concern I hear, which is that “it was moving too fast.” It sounds like he was confident; he didn’t want to simply date you, he knew what he wanted and that was you! It sounds like that scared you.
You must answer the questions: why did it scare you? Were you truly ready for a healthy relationship? Do you know what a healthy relationship looks like? I don’t think so, because if you did, you would have been ready, too.
Perhaps it was better for you to end the relationship — not because he was moving too fast, but because you weren’t truly ready.
Evaluate your life, goals, dreams and the path you are on to determine if you are headed in a direction you really want to go because of who you think you need to be or who you truly are.