Living in the gap
By Ariane Williams
We get stuck in between what we used to be and what we are becoming. We fail to acknowledge the gap. We forget about the movement that takes place within the gap; we become lost within that large space. We lose direction and try to wander back to what we used to be.
When I think about a gap, I think of an unfilled space that must be walked. I viewed a sermon by a pastor who ministered about the significance of the gap. He asked for two volunteers. One volunteer represented “used to be.” The other volunteer represented “becoming.” My mind became fixed on the space in the middle: the gap. I imagined myself standing in the middle of the gap, separated by my past but watching in the direction of my future. There’s so much that takes place in the gap that cannot be seen by the physical eye of the world. God covers it in the gap.
There are times in life when we do not feel like we are moving forward; we come to a standstill in the gap. At work one day, I was sharing with one of my colleagues that I felt like I was not moving. She told me to stand against the wall as she shared a story with me. As I stood against the wall, she pointed to a place where she had been injured. At first, I saw an empty space because there was no evidence of an injury that had once taken place. In my head, all I visualized was the day of her injury and how perfect she looked standing in front of me today. As she told me what took place in between the day of her injury and today, I realized that she brought me into the gap. She ended the conversation with “every day, I walk past what ‘used to be’ on my way to ‘becoming,’ and you will do the same because you are moving even when you do not realize it.
Sometimes, you must walk past what you used to be to get to who you are becoming. You are not going back to what tried to reduce you. I want to encourage you to start moving in the gap. It is in the gap that you will change some things. Do not worry about being exposed or what people will see, because God is covering and blindfolding the gap while you rebuild. The gap will stretch you, and some old friends will not be there when you arrive at your “becoming.” The gap will strengthen your prayers. The gap will challenge you to leap. The gap will repair and improve the areas in your life that need fixing. There will be times that you will have to rest in the gap, but you will get back up and keep moving.
You will even have opportunities to peek once in awhile at what you used to be on your way to becoming. As you peek at it, you will notice that it is too far for you to get back there, so you will keep moving. Don’t forget to wink at what you used to be.
Draw a line on a piece of paper. At one end (left side), write “what I used to be,” and at the other end (right side), write “what I am becoming.” Only focus on the middle. Write down the things that will help you to get to what you are becoming. You are one step further without even recognizing that movement is taking place. It may take some time to fill in the gap, but you must walk in it every day.
People will always live in what you used to be because they are stuck in their own gap. Some will never see what you are becoming, because they are confused about their own becoming. It is time for you to focus on your gap: the prayers, the leaps, the repairs and the improvements. I will see you on the way to becoming because that is the path that I have chosen to walk: in the gap.
Ariane Williams is a teacher, minister, published author and liturgical dancer. Email her at email@example.com.