Change is a beautiful process

Published 10:24 pm Friday, May 22, 2020

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By QuaWanna Bannarbie

Mother’s Day is always a time of special reflection. I think this year, the day served as much of a saving grace. It afforded us a much needed shift in conversations. I dare say that our contemplations and celebrations for Mother’s Day inspired some revelations that are necessary for enduring these challenging times.

Mothers really learn something about change as they are nesting an unborn human within their womb. They know well the process of change and how changes can be beautiful.

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An older woman and I were sharing stories of how we learned the gender of our children while they were in the womb. Her husband was adamant with all three of their children that he did not wish to know the sex of the child before the birth. He said, “if God had intended for you to know what was going on in there, He would have placed a window on your stomach.” It is a hilarious statement. Yet, it makes a great point about how God prepares mothers to leave the results to Him and keep our focus on the process.

While the child is in the womb, doctors and resources provide information for pregnant mothers that empower us to manage the changes in our body, changes in our environment and the change the infant will bring to our lives. Yet, we cannot see what is going on inside of us. We have no idea what is going to happen at the moment of birth. Of course, we have our ideal pictures of what that will look like and we can dream. As we wait to meet our little girl or boy, we have the role of managing the process to the best of our ability.

Everything that we do in life is a process. Nothing is instant. Real maturity takes place when we learn to focus our attention on processes rather than the end result.

I read a blog post recently about a mother who began running to help her process her thoughts. Weight loss became an unintended result of this new discipline. When she began making estimates of how much she needed to run to possibly reach a weight loss goal, the running became less fun for her. It was good to have the target, but she lost focus on what was getting her to her goal.

Life is a process of becoming.

My daughter recently said to me, “Mom, isn’t it crazy how our lives don’t always turn out the way we think they will?” I responded, “No, that it is not crazy. That is the beauty of seeing our development over time.” Someone said that we are all works in progress. I would further say that we are all becomers in process. The growth process is a series of changes that occur naturally or normally.

Everyone wants to get back to what we used to call “normal.” We may have our desires for what the end will be. But our role right now is really to do our best to manage the process. In doing so well, we will achieve a good end. The changes have not been comfortable, but neither were the kicks of an unborn child. The changes were not what we could control, but neither was the emergency C-section that saved the life of your son who was being strangled by his umbilical cord. Mothers have taught us how to willfully and gracefully submit to change and allow changes to teach us a few things. Let’s pray for our commitment to the process in all of this.

Here’s to mothers who are the champions of this unprecedented season. Your ability to accept change as beautiful is helping us all to endure the process.

QuaWanna Bannarbie is an adjunct professor of Nonprofit Leadership and Management with Indiana Wesleyan University, National and Global. Her children attend Suffolk Public Schools. Connect with her via QNikki_Notes or