Transform your ‘unlovable’
By Ariane Williams
Are you searching for a new, internal definition of “love” in your heart? Are there some deep places within you that feel chained and bolted to something? Do you feel unlovable?
It is a feeling that people in your circle may not understand. It is a feeling that people in your circle may try to cancel out of your heart, silencing your feelings because they do not want to undress their own feelings.
Recently, a good friend of mine told me that I was carrying too much weight. You see, I began to pick up bags from my past, trying to bring them into a new place; only those bags did not fit in God’s plan for my life. Wounds that were once closed began to open as if they were freshly cut. It gave me a new sense of pain that felt “unlovable.” Are you in a place where old wounds are trying to break through your skin? Are you in a place where your bandages are in need of changing because they are soaked with old blood that was once dried? You are in the right place to be loved by God.
Last year, I embarked on a new journey of self. In the beginning, the journey felt good and free, yet I was not prepared to take on the weight that the journey was carrying. The weight felt unlovable. It was in that place that I had to face old hurt, old pain, old questions and old answers. It was in that place that love was trying to find me, yet I was scared to allow it to wrap me. I was afraid of what it would expose if it got close enough to my heart. What would happen if it caused an explosion of emotions that allowed me to “just feel loved?” You are lovable.
There were many nights that I cried within myself because I could not find myself. There were many nights that I felt as if I was slipping into a place of no return. Then, God surrounded me with people that snatched me out of the place of no return and returned me to my assignment, but it was new. It was different; I’m not used to different. Stop being afraid of a new you, although others may not understand that new you. It is not for them to understand or define. It is only for you to climb: higher, higher and higher. You may not even understand yourself “in” this journey. Others may not know how to love you, but God knows how to love you, because He created every part of you.
I just want to share with you that you are not alone and that you are more than enough in love. Every part of you is lovable, although you may think those parts may be broken. You’re not broken, just separated and detached so that God can work on you in love and place you back into a place of your assignment. It is in this place that you may feel like you are not worthy to lift your hands and pray, just lift them. It is in this place that you may feel like you cannot speak HIs name. Just speak His name in whispers until your heart melts in love. It is in this place you may feel like your mistakes have damaged your walk. In fact, your mistakes have strengthened your walk. Although your past may be trying to speak, God has already silenced it. God is getting ready to transform your “unlovable” to “love.”
Ariane Williams is a teacher, minister, published author and liturgical dancer. Email her at email@example.com.