Things I want to do before I die

Published 12:00 am Thursday, July 18, 2002

I hope to bargain with the Lord so I don’t live beyond 90.

I’m 85 and figure adding five more years onto that. I’ve already put in what will be a sufficient life.

Lots of things have happened in my lifetime both good and bad -mostly good, though. I’ve traveled much – more than most people – and even got to Hong Kong.

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As in every life, there are things you haven’t had or haven’t done. Guess it comes down to two words I hate. Here they come: &uot;What if.&uot; I can’t stand them, but they do exist. So, here I go, things Id like to do before I die.

1. Make a book of my columns written for our daily paper.

2. Buy custard pie (at $4.50 a pie) for dessert for the residents of my retirement center. I know they won’t spend the money – I would.

3. Do a Bible study lesson at my retirement center that has the southern belles screaming for more!

4. Have an affair (That should get a reaction, but since they can never predict what I’ll do next no one is shocked.).

I wasn’t going to explain that last one, but I think I should. No man younger than me need apply. He must walk without help – no cane and definitely no walker. If enough energy exists (which I doubt) to steal a kiss now and then, be my guest. If this requires stamina, hauling me off to a motel is out! Looks like a brother and sister relationship. Oh, well – he’d better be intelligent. I like good conversation and knowledge of what’s going on in the world.

5. Give a party with not one white head present. Joy!

6. Put butter (a pound) on every table and take the margarine they call butter and dump it (all of it) in the garbage. Hooray for real butter.

7. Go to the Super Bowl and the World Series. No explanation necessary.

8. Have a May procession and invite only Protestants. This, I won’t explain. I’ll just enjoy knowing what it’s about.

9. Write large checks for those who typed for me because I can’t. I’m grateful to them and love them for helping me.

I could go and on but the editor will only say

– &uot;too long&uot; and take out some good stuff.

OK, if I promise to continue this later? I’ve got lots more. You’ll like it.

Florence Arena is a resident of Hillcrest Retirement Center in Suffolk and a regular News-Herald columnist.