Some Irish antics

Published 12:00 am Thursday, June 26, 2003

Special to the News-Herald

Bragging about my heritage is a habit. I hope it’s not boring to readers. I do appreciate all who read what I write and find Irish habits and happenings funny as do I. Let me dash off some that are typically Irish and see what you think.

Irish will always argue. They thrive on it. They will state their opinions – in fact, line them up for you then start to leave the scene. Walk a few steps, return, shake the index finger at you and say, &uot;And furthermore…&uot; This will be an Irish afterthought which they are certain will bring success to their part of the argument. Look for that &uot;furthermore&uot; and be ready to say, &uot;You’re so right.&uot; The end.


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The main one I found in my life came from my paternal grandmother. My Dad’s brother (one of a twin) became a priest – ordained in Rome. Grandmother told all and sundry it guaranteed her a seat in heaven when she died. Said the Lord made it very plain (He didn’t tell me) all mothers of priests go to heaven automatically – no detours, no asking St. Peter to let them in while he’s on the gate. I questioned one day (a habit of mine) asking what happens if that priest’s mother is a sinner. Sinners don’t go to heaven She looked at me and said, &uot;I thought you were one of the smart Coyne clan. Priests’ mothers don’t sin. Anything questionable is marked in their &uot;good column.&uot; I guess God keeps a list like Santa. If you’re a &uot;Patrick&uot; you’re forgiven quicker for any offense committed. That leaves the girls out in the cold, doesn’t it? Don’t think &uot;Patricia&uot; counts. Sounds more like China to me. Worship the boys; let the girls fall where they may. Ever wonder how they’d get these Patricks without the cooperation of these girls? Wake up!

Irish predict, as I wrote not too long ago. They can be lousy at it but never admit it. Some are good – take Uncle Mike, for one. He was super at it, but I still maintain it was because he was smart. We have a lot of smart Coynes in our family but predicting isn’t one of their gifts. Wish it were. Could have used some of it at the Kentucky Derby recently.

Florence Arena is a resident of Hillcrest Retirement Center and a regular columnist for the News-Herald.