Never on Sunday

Published 12:00 am Sunday, February 22, 2004

So some want the liquor laws changed so ABC can open on Sunday. OK, if religious leaders run short of communion wine…an altar boy with a permission slip can zip over to replenish supplies in an emergency, but only poor planning causes one to run dry. I have a friend who drinks a lot of that hard stuff and in the 20 years I’ve known him he has never run out. Seems to me if your shelf holds two bottles and you stock up on Friday you ought to be in good shape Sunday unless you discover your live-at-home 30-year-old son has eloped. That would call for champagne and most homeowners don’t stock it.

There is one sort of person who might benefit by a Sunday opening; the panhandler who finally gleans enough coin on the street and is educated enough to add up nickels and dimes. It is not likely he would wait until Monday to celebrate his hard work. I agree, opening on Sunday would create thousands of new jobs staffing the stores across the nation. It might be just what the snail-growth economy needs. I assume that long before November at least one Democratic candidate for President will adopt the idea for his index of issues to defeat George Bush. &uot;George Bush is against hiring people.&uot;

It doesn’t matter to me. I’ve got hard liquor on a shelf that I purchased at least 10 years ago; imagine how valuable the 20-year-old scotch I bought then is worth today. One bottle of Coffee Liqueur is now so thick I have to spoon it out of the bottle. That really impresses my guests. In an attempt to get rid of my collection I often create a new drink, and a name for it, on the spur of the moment using a little of this and a bit more of that…toss in an olive and try not to meet my guests’ eyes when they cough. I’ve also received a few compliments and requests for the recipe I’ve already forgotten, but I fake it. Some of my friends have bid on my collection slated to go up for grabs in my will.


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I thought I’d have some fun with this piece of paper that showed up in my mail. I have no idea who sent it but they wanted me to see it, hoping I mention it in a column. It’s a copy of a bill sent to the city for payment, detailing the Dec. 17, Christmas dinner pro-vided for our Council members, and I don’t know how many others. The bill is from the now expired Front Street Restaurant and Tavern, addressed to the attention of Kathy Grady. I assume she is an employee of the city. You may drool reading the menu for this auspicious occasion. Tossed green salad, sliced prime rib aujus, seafood casserole of shrimp, lobster, crabmeat, scallops, and Pollack in white wine sauce. Twice-baked potatoes, buttered broccoli almandine, rolls and butter, double chocolate cheesecake with fresh raspberries. Oh yes, and iced tea. The last item is the tab, $390. Only one thing about this bothers me, how could a place that can serve food like this go out of business?

A dear sweet little old lady friend of ours decided she was not in the peak of condition and checked with her doctor who gave her permission to join an exercise class. She told us about her experience the following day. &uot;Honey, I went, saw all that wonderful machinery, jumped up and down, twisted, contorted, puffed and sweated, and used what muscle strength I had. But by the time I got into that damn leotard class was over.&uot; She was honest, and we should all be, especially all those politicians who never quite make it to the truth. Sometimes they come close, teeter on the edge, but always fall back. And we keep sending them back to stick it to us again.

&uot;I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force – if necessary – to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security.&uot; Sen. John Kerry (D, MA), Oct 9, 2002.

Robert Pocklington is a resident of Suffolk and a regular News-Herald columnist. He can be contacted via e-mail: