I’ve heard it all
Published 12:00 am Friday, August 20, 2004
Have you ever given thought to sayings that have existed through the years? I’ve heard people respond to someone, &uot;My grandmother used to say that.&uot; I’ve considered a few and decided to take them apart for you. I’m a take aparter (a spoiler?)
Now consider &uot;It never rains but it pours.&uot; So wrong! Many times we get what is called &uot;a sprinkling.&uot; Pours? No way as it just sprinkles. So, our first saying goes to the birds!
Here’s a beaut said by many grandmothers. Why do they always get put on the spot? Go pick another relation. I like grandmothers. I am one. Anyway, here it is. &uot;Heaven to Betsy.&uot; Grandmother or not this is dumb! Are we awarding heaven to Betsy? Who is Betsy? Why should she get heaven? See what I mean?
Email newsletter signup
Got another heaven one – &uot;Heaven he1p us!&uot; This you’ve heard hundreds of times. Just seems to me when it comes to heaven leave it to the one who holds the mortgage on that territory – if it exists. As for me, I’m not sure it does.
Going on-&uot;They’re alike as two peas in a pod.&uot; Nature sometimes gets feeling frolicky and they are not alike in that pod. Just like a woman – just when you think you’re so right.
Here’s one I heard as a young mother admonishes her small son for saying a bad word. &uot;The devil will get your tongue.&uot; Let’s face it – the devil won’t settle for any1hing so small. He wants the whole ball of wax, as the saying goes. Don’t lie to the kid.
On we go. &uot;The man is king of the household.&uot; Come on! ‘Where’s the crown and throne? The royal robes? T-shirt and shorts don’t count. Such nonsense.
Here’s one to show disbelief -a classic. &uot;Tell it to the Marines.&uot; Why? They have their own headaches. Thinking of Iraq will keep them busy and they don’t have time for you.
How about&uot; A penny saved is a penny earned.&uot; Are you crazy? Have you checked prices these days? Even a small kid refuses a penny. They’ll tell you to think big.
One more – &uot;A fool and his purse are soon parted.&uot; Know any? Growing up my family knew a man often called a fool- knew everything. Don’t you hate this type? Anyway – no one got close to his purse. He was so cheap people said he pinched pennies so hard Lincoln screamed. That’s another one.
My love life produced a real dandy. While trying to talk me into &uot;’real living&uot; as he called it, he gave it one last shot with &uot;don’t you realize you’re my everything?&uot; This should all take capital letters but I’m too lazy. He went on, &uot;You’re my winter, summer, spring.&uot; Here he’s pleading for his love life and all that came to me was, &uot;He left out fall.&uot; He’s dead! He wasn’t about to win but he just cut his throat. No fall? It’s New England’s most beautiful season. How could he hurt me like that?
Life is funny (not a saying here) but sayings. crazy as they can be sometimes say it better than we can. Watch for it, but always analyze it. It’s fun. Would I kid you?
Florence Arena is a regular News-Herald columnist.