The determination to lose weight is one of the top New Year’s resolutions. Another top one, especially for females, is the desire to find and marry their soul mate. This year I also have the determination to do one of the two and will do all I can to produce positive results by the end of 2005.

Last week as I was putting groceries into my car at Farm Fresh, I heard a woman ask another woman if she was going to the new Chick-fil-A any time soon.

The woman replied that Suffolk needed another fast food restaurant like it needed a hole in the head. &uot;Suffolk is going to have a lot of fat people,&uot; she said. They laughed, then got into their car and sped off.

It’s good we’re a land of free people because just as we have the freedom of speech and other freedoms, we also have a freedom to choose of how many of those eateries we will visit and how often.

ABC’s Good Morning America is focusing this week on losing weight. On Monday the guest was Gale King, Oprah Winfrey’s best friend, a big advocate on the subject. She said everyone has the right to pick and choose what they eat and most people know the right foods to eat. This statement may be true but I believe that many people are also unaware of the ingredients in some foods that can be dangerous to their health, such as polyunsaturated fats or food that is high in sodium.

My son, Mark, is cautious about everything he eats. At least for the past year he has been eating no sugar at all, has been drinking about a quart of green tea daily, and has been eating few carbs.

He is trying to get me to switch from my regular tea to his green tea that he said would actually cause me to lose weight. About a month ago I challenged him on the weight thing and made him a bet that I still weighed less than he. We weighed ourselves and that was my wake up call because I tipped the scales three pounds more than his 6 ft. 1 inch muscular frame.

I immediately switched to whole wheat and whole grain bread, started using sugar substitutes and drinking green tea. I’ve lost four pounds.

I also took another step toward improving my health by taking advantage of the Suffolk YMCA’s offer to waive the joining fee if I joined before the Monday, Jan. 10 deadline. Of course I paid a membership fee but I intend to use the Y’s facilities to my full advantage. I also purchased the January issue of &uot;Reader’s Digest&uot; that has articles titled, &uot;The New Way to Lose Weight,&uot; with sub titles &uot;Seven Self-Tests,&uot; &uot;Eat Foods You Love,&uot; and &uot;When Carbs Work.&uot;

Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, was a guest Monday on &uot;The View,&uot; a talk show that airs at 11 a.m. on ABC. Ferguson is a spokeswoman for Weight Watchers. She said there are three major points vital and proven to be successful on the subject: don’t’ set goals too high; choose a salad instead of a meat product; and watch your portion size.

I am going to try all of these along with exercise and hopefully I will have shed most of the unwanted fat in the areas I don’t want them by the end of the year.

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It seems that the desire of most females to find Mr. Right is more consistent than most males’ desires to find Miss Right. Janis Spindell, the author of a book titled, &uot;Get Serious about Getting Married,&uot; is tuned in to the wishes of each on this subject.

Spindell, who has been married for 22 years, was a guest on the &uot;Good Morning America&uot; Sunday and said she is an expert on marriage and her job is to get people married to the right soul mate. She gave the five following steps for helping you find your soul mate:

(1) Lose your magic mirror.

Spindell said that you have to be realistic with who you are and what you look like and that men are visual so you may have to change your looks because this is a competitive world.

(2) List non-negotiables. These can be anything from smoking, facial hair or being bald but everybody should decide what is negotiable and what is not.

(3) Delete negative people. Spindell said get out of relationships that are not going anywhere in six months and don’t stay in them more than three months just because they are comfortable.

(4) Try the hello challenge. Spindell said to pick a number and say hello to that number of men every day and try to make men happy with your smile.

(5) Close the deal. Spindell said to follow these tips and you will close the deal.

I say that with these tips you may get married but you have to work hard at them to stay married.

Being single and being married both have their ups and downs. You don’t hear about married people wanting to be single as much you do singles wanting to be married, but believe it or not, some married people would trade places being single again in a minute.

As for me, I have been single since I was widowed six years ago after 29 years of marriage and am content with my present situation.

It’s all about what you are doing with your life and what activities you are involved in. However, for myself I am not ruling out male companionship. If there is a male out there who loves God, going to the movies or out to dinner, loves to dance and has a great sense of humor, then you have a date.

But my advice to all people, whether married or single is to be careful what you wish for because eventually you may get it.

Evelyn Wall is a retired News-Herald reporter and regular columnist.