Six dollars a gallon

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, September 14, 2005

That’s if you can find it…for a while it may not be easy to get and if so we are in big trouble. So maybe this will do no good at the moment and for a few months to come. Our dear friends in Saudi Arabia, who really need the money, suck oil from the ground for less than five bucks a barrel. (About 42 gallons) But later, if you are of a mind to use the information, be my guest. These companies import Middle Eastern oil: Shell, Amoco, Chevron/Texaco, Exxon/Mobil, and Marathon/Speedway. These do not: Citgo, Sunoco, Conoco, Sinclair, BP/Phillips, Hess, and ARCO. All of this information is available from the Department of Energy and each company is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing. At least think about it.

From the net. Lance Armstrong’s record-setting seventh Tour de France victory, along with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by what could turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time. Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned substances were found in his South France hotel room while on vacation after winning the 2005 Tour de France. The three substances found were toothpaste, deodorant, and soap, which had been banned by French authorities for over 75 years. Armstrong’s girlfriend, American rocker Sheryl Crowe, is quoted as saying &uot;We use them every day in America, so we naturally thought they’d be OK throughout Europe.&uot; Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also physically searched Armstrong and found several other interesting items that they had never seen before, including a backbone and a testicle.

From the net. A friend of mine is an officer in the naval reserve. A few weeks ago, he was attending a conference that included admirals in both the U.S. and the French navies. At a cocktail reception, my friend found himself in a small group that included an admiral from each of the two navies. The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans only learned English. He then asked. &uot;Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you have to speak French?&uot; Without even hesitating, the American admiral replied. &uot;Maybe it is because we arranged it so that you did not have to learn to speak German.&uot;

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I’m comfortable with the nastiest about the French for reasons beyond the fact that they don’t seem to remember us much nowadays. It goes way back to 1944 and I won’t explain that other than to say we walked across most of that country and never saw or had help from a French soldier. Yes, I have heard of the free French but earliest impressions have a way of sticking in the craw. Which reminds me that what is going on in New Orleans since the &uot;dam broke&uot; was a lot like being in France. It never stopped raining, we were soaked, lived on &uot;K&uot; rations, and thugs were shooting at us. Where we would sleep at night, always on the ground, was a daily mystery, and no one seemed to know where the hell we were going. What we owned was on our back and we put up with this for 11 months. Where was FEMA when we needed them? But we didn’t blame our president.

This came in an e-mail and I pass it on because it is funny and might contain a grain of truth. Announcing SUFFOLK CITY REALTY specializing in giveaway properties. Priced far below assessed value depending upon your personal relationship with top city officials. Future listings include; Old Suffolk Courthouse, Riddick’s Folly, Main Street Senior Citizen Center, Suffolk Executive Airport, waterfront acreage of former Obici Hospital, Planters Club, Golf Course, Obici House and much, much more. All &uot;listings&uot; are under the direct supervision of City Manager Herbert. Please do not contact members of the Suffolk Council as they have little to do with it. The Railroad Station has not been listed, as it will continue to be a refugee center until levees have been constructed near the bridge.

There was an incident in the grocery store a man stopped at yesterday. At the front of the checkout line was a woman dressed in a burkha. When she got to the cashier she loudly remarked about the U.S. flag lapel pin the cashier wore on her smock. The cashier touched the pin, and said proudly, &uot;Yes, I always wear it and probably always will.&uot; The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.

The cashier said in a calm and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman: &uot;Lady, hundreds of thousands of Americans have fought and died so that YOU could stand here, in MY country and accuse a check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen. If you had opened your mouth like that back in Iraq, you wouldn’t be here today. But, hey, now that you have learned how to speak out, I’ll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Iraq so you can straighten out the mess in YOUR country that you are obviously here in MY country to avoid.&uot;

I wonder how high they could have built the New Orleans levees with the money we are spending to rescue the city…not to mention the welfare costs on the horizon. And what is this idiocy about there being a delay in dealing with this catastrophe? Do we put it back together…Louis Armstrong is dead; let’s move on.

Robert Pocklington lives in Suffolk and is a regular News-Herald columnist. He can be reached at