Some might consider it a pure case of vandalism

Published 12:00 am Friday, March 3, 2006

Tsk, tsk, slaps on the wrist for bad boys downtown who “misunderstood the old command, “whoa.” They must have had the bulldozers cranked and warmed up to act as fast as they did tearing down three houses in the blink of an eye. Let’s see, how much was that little item, $70,000 to the owner, plus the $18,000 the city hoped to collect for demolition, plus another $34,000 for the victim’s lawyer costs, plus what our legal bill was. What’s that old saying, “Haste Makes Waste?” Golly, a mere $122,000; it took only 61 property taxpayers at $2000 each to cover that little fiasco.

It’s fair to say the houses were properly destined for destruction, either by bulldozers or a little rough weather, and deserved a place in the dump. But apparently cell phones were not in working order the day of their demise, or were shut off to protect them from the decibels of heavy machinery. At the very least, command center was disconnected or someone in high places was willing to risk our dollars.

Oh well, it is only money and no one was hurt in the “accident.” But it was an expensive lesson. Will heads roll? Shefco and his attorney were probably only joking, while laughing up their sleeves, when they said they would rather have kept the houses and rented them to willing occupants.

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A big job

After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said, “Let me see if I got this right…you want me to go into that room with all those noisy kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning. And I’m supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits. You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self-esteem. And you want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.

I am to maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, make sure all students pass the mandatory state exams, even those who don’t come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments. And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card. All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, big smile, and on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps. You want me to do all of this and yet you expect me …NOT TO PRAY.

Warn the Pope

Sent by Keith Morris who finds stuff like this. Consider that in the year 1981 Prince Charles got married…Liverpool was crowned Soccer Champions of Europe…Australia lost the Ashes Tournament…the Pope died.

In 2005 Prince Charles got married…Liverpool was crowned Soccer Champions of Europe…Australia lost the Ashes Tournament…and the Pope died. From these facts we learn significant lessons…If Prince Charles gets married again, bet your money on Liverpool, but against Australia, and somebody warn the Pope.

Good luck, Ed

Space at the bottom of my columns is always limited, but Andy Damiani should be given some credit for the apparent success of Art’s Kitchen…he did a Round Table TV show there right after it opened. It’s been a good place for breakfast and lunch…friendly atmosphere and usually crowded. Everyone is familiar with the new location, where the Dining Room used to be, and there is much better parking. Our thanks to Mickey Boyette and his partner for bailing Ed Beardsley out. I will work on Andy D to do another show over there.

Robert Pocklington lives in Suffolk and is a regular News-Herald columnist. He can be reached at robert.pocklington@suffolknewsherald.com.