Web sites and advice offer singles hope

Published 12:00 am Friday, March 3, 2006

That time of the year arrived yesterday when love is in the air and almost everybody wants to find it and keep it. Just like the Super Bowl is the second largest food consumption day following Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day is the second largest gift-giving day following Christmas.

Commercials on the tube about what to do for that special someone and advertisements in magazines are numerous, and talk shows and game shows promote couple participation and multiple weddings. There are also plenty of Web sites and advice at this time of year for singles on how to find Mr. and Mrs. Right.

Many singles searching for that significant other go on-line. According to the NBC’s Today Show, this is a $500 million industry and the ABC Good Morning America Show reported that there are over 800 dating Web sites out there. The problem is that most of those who use these sources lie on their profiles. Those lies include an outdated photo of themselves, age, physical appearance and marital status. But wait singles, there also are sites out there to help you to choose a mate wisely.


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The Today Show reported that there is a Web site called truedaters.com that can show you how to single out liars. Jamie Diamond, director of this Web site, said that anything in someone’s profile is up for grabs for him or her to comment on. She also said that finding a mate on-line is possible and that thousands of couples a year get married after meeting on their Web site.

GMA reported on another Web site called chemistry.com. According to Dr. Helen Fisher, chief scientific advisor who puts the power of science into finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, the site has discovered that chemicals in the brain called neuro-transmitters change when we fall in and out of love. It is also the same chemical that causes us to be addicted to drugs and is responsible for the emotions of falling in love. She said that this emotion would not only help you to figure out love, but can also help you to find love.

On Monday, Dr. Phil sent 18 single women and three single men who were looking for love on a cruise to a place he called Love Smart Island. He said that he was tired of seeing singles love “dumb” and that the biggest mistakes people make in the romance department is that they are too controlling, picky, or consumed with jealousy. He gave three signals on hooking up with someone who may be interested to you.

According to him, the most powerful tool is eye contact, the second is touch, and the third is position. He demonstrated by saying that when you meet someone, there is a personal space anywhere from 18 to 24 inches, and if you cross that personal space barrier, make eye contact and initiate a warmer touch, that sends a huge signal. The other things to do are to show interest in that person and make them feel good about themselves, because everybody likes to be a star. In addition, allow someone to get the chance to know you based on who you are and not what you look like.

My advice is to be cautious using all dating Web sites because there are some sick people out there. If you used them and still haven’t been successful in finding the person of your dreams, be patient. And as some Christian people would tell you, “Wait on the Lord to send you someone.”

I was married for 29 years before I was widowed in 1998. Anyone married this long will tell you that the wedding is only the introduction of harder work to follow to make a marriage work successfully. If you don’t believe this statement, just tune in on Divorce Court on Channel 27 with Judge Mabeline, or one of Dr. Phil’s partner-relationship shows and you may discover that you are standing on the side of the fence that holds the greener grass.

However, some marriages do seem to be made in heaven, and it is good if a person does experience love or marriage at least once in his or her life. As for me, I have learned to accept my life, live it to the fullest and to be happy in whatever life situation I am in by leading a very active life that does not allow any grass, green or otherwise, grow under my feet.

Wall is a former News-Herald reporter and regular contributor to Town Square.