This is kind of a bonus post, a continuation of one the other day about Cultural Arts Center program.

Michael Bollinger, SCCA director, gave a brief presentation at this afternoon’s Rotary Club meeting about all the fine acts coming to the facility.

First on the list, of course is Dionne Warwick.

As I was looking at her photo and Mr. Bollinger was listing some of her hits, it occurred to me that she’s a big star (duh! I know). But as a big star, I thought I bet she has one of those contract “riders” that are always swirling around on the Internet. You know, in which celebrities have certain demands that must be met before they perform. Like Dick Cheney having to have all the TVs in his hotel rooms tuned to Fox News.

When I got back to the office, I googled “Dionne Warwick Contract Rider,” and sure enough, she has one. It can be found at thesmokinggun.com.

After looking it over, it looks like the SCCA folks are going to have their hands full at the grand opening, and I’m not just talking about getting the facility finished on time.

Here’s some of what Ms. Warwick must have at her disposal if you expect her to perform, again, this according to thesmokinggun.com.

“Purchaser (That’s the SCCA) is to provide the following items for Ms. Dionne Warwick’s dressing room at no cost to Artist (Ms. Warwick): All platters should be able to feed eight to 10 people:

1. Hot hors d’ouevres: (no seafood, shellfish or mushrooms) chicken wings, bar-b-que ribs, little franks, meatballs and egg rolls.

a. Cold hors d’oeuvres: ham, sliced turkey, roast beef salami, Swiss cheese and American cheese.

b.

Fresh fruit platter: slices pineapple, green seedless grapes, slices watermelon, sliced honeydew melon, sliced cantaloupe melon and bananas. If any of the above fresh fruit is not in season, please contact World Celebrity, Inc.

2. Television

3. Telephone

4. 4. Two bath towels; two face towels; two hand towels

5. Six wooden hangers

6. Makeup mirror with lights

7. Full length mirror

8. Fruit juices: apple, pineapple, tomato and grapefruit

9. Assorted sodas: Pepsi, Lipton Iced Tea (cans), 7-Up, Orange Slice (NO COCA COLA)

10. One platter assorted cheeses and crackers

11. Coffee and tea (with cream, lemon and sugar)

12. Six glass ashtrays

13. Cups, saucers, plats and silverware (no paper plates, cups or saucers of any kind)

14. Heater in winter months

15. Two bottles of Cristal Champagne per concert (NO SUBSTITUTES)

16. Security for Ms. Warwick and dressing room

17. Private toilet.

Please be advised that Purchasers failure to provide any of the above mentioned items in Ms. Warwick’s dressing room, without prior written approval of World Celebrity, Inc. shall be deemed a material breach of the contract and in the event of such breach, producer reserves the right to cancel the engagement and retain any monies there to fore paid by Purchaser.

18. Purchaser shall provide Artist at no cost to Artist all of the following:

a. One new dark colored limousine (never white), that is furnished with a telephone, television, mini-bar and chauffeur from date of arrival to termination of engagement hereunder.

b. One station wagon to meet Artist at point of arrival and departure

c. One 12-foot cargo van with driver for luggage and equipment transportation to and from airport/hotel venue;

d. Hotel accommodations consisting of one 2-bedroom suite and 11 single rooms at a five star hotel of Artist’s choice. If engagement is outside the United States, the specified single rooms shall be deluxe single rooms or double rooms.

19. Artist shall have the right to sell stuff on the premises.

20. Artist shall be allowed 20 complimentary tickets for the performance, all of which shall be the highest priced tickets.

21. Artist shall not be required to appear or perform before any audience which is segregated on the basis of race, creed or color or where physical violence and possible injury to Artist is likely to occur.

In addition, the little meet and greet reception following her performance is costing the SCCA $1,500 in the form of a check made payable to the Dionne Warwick Institute.

I admire Mr. Bollinger. It would take a much more patient person than I to be able to deal with such folks.