If a Virginia politician bribes you, it#8217;s OK

Published 12:00 am Sunday, September 3, 2006

When it comes to stupid laws, America has its fair share.

Watching a morning news show the other day I heard about a woman in Minnesota who has to go before a judge for having sex with her husband.

It seems the woman is a massage therapist and her husband was once her client.

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She later married the man, and as expected, they consummated that union.

However, in 2002, Minnesota lawmakers passed a law that states a massage therapist may not have sex with a client or former client for two years.

Thus, the couple having sex violated the letter of that law, and now the woman could be subject to a fine and maybe the loss of her license.

But it’s insane that they would even go through with this prosecution. You would think that somebody with some kind of power would intervene and give the couple special dispensation due to their marital situation.

I wonder how much this is going to cost the taxpayers of Minnesota should it go all the way to trial?

But Minnesota isn’t the only state with stupid or archaic laws. The Commonwealth of Virginia has its fair share of them also.

Here are a few that I found on the Internet, and I can only assume are still on the books and enforceable.

From www.bitoffun.com

N Citizens must honk their horns when passing. Imagine how much noisier the interstates would be if everybody did this.

N In Culpeper, it is against the law to wash one’s mule on the sidewalk. I take from this that washing them in the street is allowed, but I don’t know. I’ll ask my mother n she lives there. She doesn’t have a mule, but she might know somebody who does.

N In Lebanon, it is illegal to kick your wife out of bed. That’s pretty specific. How about kicking one’s wife generally?

N Spitting on a sea gull is illegal in Norfolk. I’ve seen those things fly and I don’t thing anybody could do it anyway. If you try, just remember not to spit into the wind.

N In Stafford County, it is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps as long as he does it before 8 a.m. Maybe that because the workers start arriving then and they shouldn’t have to see that happening. I don’t know.

N In Prince William County no person may keep a skunk as a pet. That law just stinks!

From www.ahajokes.com

N Corrupt practice of bribery by any person other than candidates is prohibited. Keep in mind who makes and passes these laws.

N In Norfolk, women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of a male chaperone.

N Staying in Norfolk, if a man pats a woman on the derriere he faces up to two months in jail. Are other parts fair game?

N In Waynesboro, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the vehicle waving a red flag.

Virginia isn’t unique when it comes to these old laws. Check out the two Web sites above, and others, for more interesting tid-bits from the other 49. I think you might get a laugh out of a couple of them as I did.


Have you seen the get-rich-quick infomercials? Most of the time the people say they made thousands of dollars a week, and then the disclaimer states their results are not typical.

But despite that, I imagine thousands of people still spend their hard-earned money for a chance to get rich over night.

When will they learn? The only person getting rich is the man who is getting thousands of people to send him $19.95, or $39.95 or whatever.

Grant is the managing editor of the News-Herald. Contact him at doug.grant@suffolknewsherald.com