When you see a picture of Jim Webb and Sen. George Allen, two anti-each-other politicians shaking hands, it tells you a lot about politicians. They have been calling each other names, approving disapproving ads, and in other ways being nasty to each other for months leading up to November. And I suspect the hair pulling is not yet over, unless they both ran out of money.

So what’s this kiss and make up, smiling and shaking hands nonsense? Admit it boys, you can’t stand each other. When I see &uot;my man&uot; bowing to political correctness, I’m tempted not to vote for either.

Being old school, I’d rather they square off bare-knuckled and have at it. It wouldn’t matter to me who won the fight, but to back off at this late date is sissy stuff. If either of the two wannabes has something held back in the way of dirty tricks or outright lies, let’s hear them, parade them live on TV. Never mind putting that dirt in the ads or handouts; spit it out live so we can see your face when you say it.

We can tell when you are faking it, like Clinton recently when shaking his finger at Chris Wallace; we will know when you really mean it and probably vote for you.

If only all the hopefuls would realize that 99 percent of us who vote have already made up our minds. If they would give their campaign money to charity, we’d vote for them, if for no other reason than their philanthropy.

I will admit that I have never given one red cent to any political campaign, and my odds have been very good picking winners. I didn’t even fall for the charmer from Arkansas who allowed Hillary to serve with him and for him when he was &uot;busy.&uot;

I did vote once for a democrat, Franklin D. Roosevelt; I respected that man.

As for local politicians, they don’t do much name-calling. Nor do they spend a lot of money on campaigns, but reading their cute little signs along the roads is as dangerous as cell-phones. Those over-sized signs should be considered billboards and disallowed as unsightly. And if they don’t favor my choices, they are profane.

Puzzle Palace

I often hear from folks that moving through the city hall maze to accomplish almost anything under city control can be traumatic, debilitating, rendering you in need of mental medical attention. But I have learned from my own experience that it can be exhausting and expensive, but not the fault of employees who are following the rules and procedures handed to them. Especially helpful was the clerk of the Circuit Court, who, with his competent staff, steered this old brain through the plethora of huge books that contain the &uot;facts&uot; about property ownership. And departments of Planning and Zoning have turned on lights in my head so I could see where I was going with the reams of necessary paperwork. I am forever indebted, even though I will be poorer.

Easy money if you sell

I was fascinated by the story of the man who brought an old painting to the Road Show and discovered its real worth.

It reminded me of many years back when a friend and I successfully bid on straightening the floors of an old riverfront home on land, that had been a shipyard eons before. Under the home was mud, and we dug out places to pour concrete slabs to support the floor jacks. Our shovels struck metal. The homeowner said we could have whatever it was … turned out to be a 400-pound bronze ship propeller. We both suffered double hernias lugging it to the foundry. They were amazed at its age and quality, wanted it for historical display and suddenly we were much wealthier. Keeping it would have made it worthless.

robert.pocklington@suffolknewsherald.com