Never let it be said that I’m a good bowler.

Certainly, nobody who was at SpareTimes bowling in Hampton on Saturday night would accuse me of excelling at bowling. It was the 26th birthday of my cousin and best friend, April, so she, her son Cole and a few of her friends converged on the bowling alley to roll a few frames.

I’ve never particularly loved bowling, which might be a good excuse for not being very good at it. However, since it was April’s birthday, I went along.

I don’t think I’ve ever bowled worse games in my entire life than I did Saturday night. Even April (who’s legally blind) and her son (he’s 5; not almost 6, either, he JUST turned 5) beat me in all three games. My highest score, on the last game of the night, was a 104. In my defense, Cole was using bumpers and the metal rack that allowed him to set the ball at the top of the rack and push it down the ramp. He even got more strikes throughout the night than I did, although if I had been using bumpers, I probably could have gotten more than one strike, too.

I’ll take heart in knowing that I’m almost better at bowling than the president. Barack Obama has recently said that he isn’t happy with his score of 129 at the White House lanes, which President Harry Truman had installed in 1947. He has, however, improved from his score of 37 in seven frames during a campaign stop a year ago. He and Jay Leno talked about the scores on a recent episode of NBC’s “The Tonight Show,” during which Obama managed to offend plenty of Americans by calling his score “like the Special Olympics.” That’s change you can believe in.

On a side note that also originates from our bowling trip, I believe Cole is getting too smart for his own good. While we awaited our turns on the alley, Cole read off to me the names and scores of everybody on our lane and the next lane. He even spelled out the numbers for most of the scores. He hasn’t even been to kindergarten yet, although he’s been in private preschools for two and a half years. I’m not complaining, though – if he gets smart enough, he can afford to care for me and April in our old age. Keep on spelling, Cole!