The following is a loose translation of an actual conversation. My portion of the conversation will be limited so as to give the full scope of what Lauren Wicks, SNH reporter, is saying. In light on Michael Jackson’s recent passing, I felt this particular conversation needed to be shared with the reading public, so that you, those dear fans of Michael Jackson, may take comfort in the passing of such a pop icon.

“No offense, Troy,” she said to me, as if I am the world’s biggest M.J. fan, which I am not, “but Justin Timberlake is going to be the Michael Jackson of my generation, except not as weird, thus better.”

This statement suggested to me that Justin Timberlake’s body of work will someday ascend to the breadth, quality and popularity of the Michael Jackson portfolio.

“I mean, Justin’s a better entertainer, a better dancer, and a better singer than Michael Jackson ever was,” Wicks said. “Plus, he’s not weird.”

“Everyone loved Justin on Saturday Night Live,” Wicks added. “And his movies are way better. So, he’s a better all-around entertainer.”

Let’s compare movies really quickly:

Justin Timberlake’s movies: Alpha Dog and Love Guru

Michael Jackson’s movies: The Wiz and Moonwalker (I guess that was a movie.)

Let’s call this issue a push.

Then, as we turned to the subject of the two entertainer’s upbringings, Wicks pointed out that J.T. started his career at eight, Jackson at three or four, and Timberlake didn’t turn out all weird … or something to that effect.

Of course, after listening to all of her valid points, I recalled her taste in music to remind me of the exquisite source from which this argument was coming.

Some of Wicks’ favorite songs include “We Built This City” by Starship “I Want to Know What Love Is” by Foreigner and the timeless Peabo Bryson classic “If Ever You’re in My Arms Again,” a song that, if ever remade by Justin Timberlake, will send her into another strata of elation.

Moreover, she listens to Jennifer Lopez’s “Do It Well” to get hyped up every now and then. So we’d all have to agree, Lauren Wicks is pretty qualified to make the assessment that Justin Timberlake is destined for the kind superstardom achieved by the late Michael Jackson.

After hearing all these amazing points about just how great J.T. is, I, being but a novice as a fan of Michael Jackson, was forced to acquiesce to Wicks on this matter.

So take heart all you good people of my generation and those Michael Jackson fans far and wide. Justin Timberlake will be there to fill the void of the measly Michael Jackson, so sayeth Lauren Wicks.

Feel free to post your comments to the web or send Lauren Wicks a nice email, thanking her for turning all you Jackson lovers on to Justin Timberlake, who will indeed bring sexy back.

You may post your comments to the Suffolk News-Herald’s Web site under this column, or email her directly at lauren.wicks@suffolknewherald.com.

Every drop of sarcasm about the greatness of Justin Timberlake on my part was purely intentional and meant specifically to refute the claims of Ms. Wicks.