My coffee is too hot.

Fast food made me gain weight.

Our federal government underestimated, accidentally of course, the cost of health care/Social Security/repaving interstates/planting trees in national parks/anything. Ok, so for some reason we can’t take that matter to court, so it doesn’t fit here exactly.

A woman is suing the Brookfield Zoo in Chicago for having its dolphins splash water out of their pool during a show.

Allecyn Edwards is suing the zoo for more than $50,000 in “lost wages, medical expense and emotional trauma” after she was injured while walking near the dolphin exhibit in the fall of 2008.

Edwards blames the zoo for two things. First, the dolphins’ trainers “recklessly and willfully trained and encouraged the dolphins to throw water at the spectators in the stands, making the floor wet and slippery.”

I’m not sure how to judge whether the trainers were reckless, since in all likelihood, if they were reckless, then every trainer at Sea Worlds, zoos and aquariums all over the world does practically the same thing, and, therefore, all dolphin trainers and exhibits must be reckless.

Other than that, what did Edwards expect hanging around the dolphin show? Was the crowd at the Brookfield Zoo interested in an hour-long dissertation on the importance of dolphins in our ecosystem or the potential genetic changes to dolphins species due to global warming? No, the show was about watching the dolphins jump, eat fish from the trainers, play with balls and splash water.

The second part of the suit claims the zoo should’ve had warnings or better, safer floors, with mats or rails — or something along those lines, I guess — around the exhibit.

Technically, Edwards could be right, here, but when do we get to the point when we have so many warnings up that they don’t mean anything at all?

You could sprain an ankle if you decide to go for a jog one evening.

If you’re hanging around Langley Speedway one Saturday evening, you might get a headache from the noise.

You could get sunburned while outside at the beach or Little League games or a golf course during the summer. If you go in the ocean, a jellyfish might sting you, or you could step on a crab and you’ll certainly get wet.

Where does it all end?