Beating the bullies
Published 10:17 pm Thursday, January 22, 2015
Eddie Harville, a deputy with the Suffolk Sheriff’s Office, kicked off a series of talks on bullying Thursday by telling students at Elephant’s Fork Elementary School to just turn and walk away.
He’s seen a lot in his 25 years with the office, Harville told students gathered in the lunchroom.
“One thing I’ve seen is bullies hurt feelings,” he said. “It causes people to feel pain inside.”
Harville started out by asking the children what bullying is. The answers: “Teasing somebody.” “Telling you what to do.” “Calling you names.”
“Absolutely,” Harville said. “Picking on somebody because they are different is wrong. It’s never right, for any reason.”
He reminded the students that anyone they bully might grow up to be the sheriff or a deputy. “And then you have got to face that person one day,” he said.
“Respect your fellow students and teachers is what you have got to do, because if you don’t have respect for other people, you won’t have respect for yourself.”
Harville explained to the students what victims are, and how the actions of bullies create them.
All criminals are essentially bullies, the students learned. He also told them bullying could be as simple as laughing at a teacher when she’s trying to explain something.
The thing to do, Harville said, is to not give bullies any “steam” — avoid giving them the reaction they’re after.
“If you turn around and put your back to me and walk away, I’m left with no one to pick on,” he said.
Harville had specific advice for the girls, who he said often form cliques. “The girl over here doesn’t like the same music or wear the same clothes, so we are not going to let her join our group,” he said.
“That’s bullying, and that’s wrong.”
When he opened the floor to questions, and was asked how teachers dealt with bullies back in the day, Harville replied, “they took a ruler and they cracked you across the knuckles. Do you know why they don’t do that anymore?”
“It’s child abuse,” a boy said.
Harville told the boy there is also such a thing as teacher and adult abuse. “When you don’t show them proper respect,” he said.
Suffolk Family YMCA is spearheading the bullying talks. Its site director, Mariana “M.J.” Johnson, said they’re planning to deliver them at all city elementary schools.
“We want to nip it in the bud at this level before it escalates,” she said.